Awakened

By that time, I was deteriorating 
A meaningless soul dissolving, disappearing
The world was empty of blessings to appreciate
The people to turn to, they were all fake
No one felt this everlasting pain
No one sheltered me in the constant rain
My mother didn't nurture me for suffering
But surely enough, she was not to blame.
Come she said, come with me and see
And soon you will know and come to be
A flourishing spirit, a tender rose
So with nothing to look to, it was her offer I chose
She led me to high gates that reached to the sky
The colour of jade, towering high
As I walked closer, my heart began to thaw
People enshrouded in white I saw
Closer and closer, I tiptoed with ease
Careful not to distract supplicates on their knees.
And at that moment my heart awoke
The worldly jail confining my soul broke
Closer and closer I walked feet bare
To the duniya I was now unaware 
Your rivers of forgiveness was now all I could see
The beaming gold doors opening ahead of me
In unison my arms opened, and eyes closed
And it was at that moment that my soul spoke
And speaking was what I did, taking my time
Confessing sins committed in this ugly world of mine
Tear after tear, they solaced my cheeks
Reminding me of my soul that had always been weak
Embrace me forever and enfold my eyes
So I am not blind to your light, O most merciful, most wise
It is your rope I hold on to, your path I choose
and Your love now, I can never abuse
Despite the fact this world is a jail
With your love and warmth I can never fail
Every time my forehead meets the floor
I will close my eyes and imagine heavens doors
That little piece of paradise I will take in my heart everywhere

But as for this life now....I do not care.

~ Fatima ~

Chronic Time

The world is nothing but a mirage within a short parenthesis
The foolish dwell upon it and the wise detach itself from it
You dwell on the past, resent the present and await the future.
Your heart lingers on what could have been and questions on what is to come.
Procrastination takes it away, yet we all claim we have it - time.
It is the unmeasurable river which flows, yet numbered are the ones who swim through it and let it take them towards wisdom.
We allow what contemplates within to dwell over the meadows which could have been sown
instead of being the seed and watching ourselves flourish.
It will fly past you like the swift eagle and tell you that it should've been caught when it was too late.
It is as abundant as love; unchanged and undivided
yet we choose to let it pass like the autumn leaf in the wind and fail to encompass it so we can fly with it in unison.
Your soul will slow down on it's path during the night and unfold like the rose while you pray in silence and rejoice with souls that pray like you
but it will lose itself again when the sun meets the horizon and will claim it has time yet again.
It will make you realise that the song in your soul should've been sung with the people and not have been like the songbird in the cage.
And as your soul contemplates its sins in that dark, silent night and pleads for the doors not to be shut
It will find and realise 
that there is yet time..

~ Fatima ~

Remedy

Keep your head up, they tell me
there is no one youer than you
Keep your head up, they tell me.
Don't drink that cup of pride
Do this, do that
You will never understand.
How sweet the end would taste, but they would think I'm crazy
Where does this soul begin to tell them what it's endured?
But no, hold that thought
Routine check in
Keep your head up
You'll be free
Who would have thought
the same weak souls they claim they are not
are in an attempt to mold,
beautify you.
They say it's okay, not your fault
You are the cub that hasn't turned into a lion.
Keep your head up, you'll get there.


Walking down the hallway I recall
the loved ones that hurt me the most
the cries never answered
the shattering of the glass-like soul
They will never feel the tears that portray every story, every heart felt ache
Post traumatically scarred from every barrier that's been transgressed


But no, hold that thought
and keep walking until you find yourself where you always do
this time, close your eyes as your head bows down
and forget their remedies and attempts to fix you.
Did they ever tell you to look in yourself?
Or realise that the remedy is there and no where else?
He's been there all along you see
watching you run back and forth in your agony
waiting for the moment where He sees the butterfly that begins to flap the wings
that He gave it.



Put your head to the floor
and bleed
blissfully 


Just keep your head there.




~ Fatima ~ 

The weed around the Rose

I was to you like a weed around a rose
Entwined to your petals, ignoring your thorns.
My goal was to learn simply

About you.

Despite the fact I entwined your presence
Your petals never suffocated.
Your beauty never bruised
Amongst the teachings which my life has taught
I risked rejection and misunderstanding
To baste in your intensity
And feed off your passion.

Like a little puppet, you pulled my strings
I didn't care if I was being manipulated
For my heart was sealed
And I was addicted to the drug that put me in euphoria.
You drew me in
And grew off my energy.
And the words of my heart that echoed through you
Every day.

But it seemed your pride was on exponential.
I wonder if you ever saw these tears
That fell in your presence.
Did you close your eyes because you said you never wanted to see me cry?
Your portrait was merely fiction
Fake, but true
Perhaps you assumed you knew my aim
And thought that I would continue to grow off a thorn like you
Feeding you energy, for your own good.
You will never know my true intentions
For you are too blind and basting in your own
Beauty...

You had the potential to change
Though you are nothing but the painting of a rose
With no dimensions
Who will continue to suck the life off every being
Every innocent and blind person
Like me.

I know you have seen me now
Despite the powerful filter that now stands between us.
Do you find it difficult
That the weed is suffocating you?


Engross yourself and solace your heart
Convince yourself that you and your crimson petals are genuine
While I get to know you and play your game
And suffocate your petals
With my growth.
~ Fatima ~

Follow it, Come find me...

You flooded my heart and built a pathway there.
Follow it You said, come find me.
Filters of deception always obstructed and blinded me from Your light.
Satan always managed to take over and whisper in my soul.
Follow it You said, come find me.
I entwine myself with my ugly criticisms
And use my ink as a hypocrisy behind paper
Which is as blank as I have become.
Follow it You said, come find me.
My life is a burning rope and it hurts to hold on
And I fail to humble myself before You in abasement
I linger on the thought of sinning
And can't seem to raise the hands You crafted.
Follow it You said, come find me.
How long can I possibly endure the aftermaths of my corruption?
I am dormant and sleeping in negligence
With eyes open and a soul that sleeps
But aware am I to the burning path that I could walk
as I reflect every cursed whisper in the mask of my soul.
Follow it You said, come find me.
But tonight in this darkness, a call louder than ever spoke
And appeared through the clouds and shadows of deception
In the eloquence of silence I have recalled my soul
and removed the veil of the visible world
I trailed the light on that familiar path and looked again in my heart
Don't call, I found You. 


~ Fatima ~

The Father of Palestine

Smiling

There he sat watching his children in his heart

Picturing their laughs and songs.

Speechless

His eyes had reached the broken, polluted sky

He still saw God.

Reminiscing 

The moments he shared with his wife

her caressing hand on his cheek.

Listening

The shots did not stop him from hearing:

Come, these arms will catch you from below.

Feeling

The blood oozing from the cracks

Of a heart freshly punctured

Looking 

One by one, his offspring fell

Like dominoes.

Smiling

His child’s face fell infront of his; the warmth of blood

Meeting at last.

Watching

The soldier that walked away from a life

Lives. Freshly taken.

Weeping

the tears stung the ruptured wrinkles

which once folded at the site of his daughters' eyes. 

Calling

From his soul cried out

God we are coming, accept this sacrifice. 

~ Fatima ~