Helpless..

I am trapped within flesh

Inside, already dead.

The voices don't go away

At every turn, lead astray.

Inside, a constant pain

From the blazing fire that can't be tamed.

Every sin, a poisoned spear

That cuts my heart amidst the fear.

The ego bleeds back in

Weakening the body, already thin.

Night falls on this heavy heart

Already weak and torn apart.

I shout from within myself

From conflict of mind, body and health

It hurts to know you're already gone

In the world you've just stumbled upon.

God of hope in the skies

I can't feel the warmth in this tunnel, but I see Your light...

and I cry, I cry, I cry

In all efforts I'm pushed back

The worlds grippes at it again..

attack attack attack

If only you knew - that I cannot say

For you're watching constantly day by day

And I know you see me cry and cry and cry

I long to smell that sweet, sweet fragrance

That You possess with such eloquence 

I know this world is a believer's hell

And You can't break me out of my shell

But

The last taste of Your grace is my only concern

Before it's time that I can ever return

~Fatima~

'Coz You are You

I am running away

Escaping the heat and fray

Round and round

I cannot accept Your ground

Every nook every corner

I meet another sojourner

Where have you been they ask

Where have I not I task

What did you find they query

What did I lose I worry

At last I can fight no more

Again, I am humbled at Your door

For a moment I hesitate

Will my worst fears precipitate

If you turn me away

I have not another way

A crack, a light from beyond

And then I know what I have found

Though I have sinned through and through

My comfort, my rest is that You are You.

-Shahida-

Mighty Sword

Lift your sword

Make a mark

Sweep the hearts

Lead them to victory

Carve out dreams

Rewrite realities

Stir memories

Create aspirations

Captivate your opponent

Slice his firmament

Lead them through the valley

Into the garden

Where the lilies grow

O poet! Let your ink flow!

-Shahida-

Darkened Skies

The roses lost their fragrance - and -
The sunrise lost its charm - when -
The lady behind the door was struck - with -
Her unborn babe within - to -
Reunite with the noble parents.

My orphaned soul wanders, searching
Distracted, seeking the place of her remembrance

What would I not give to be among the few - who -
Earned the grace of attending to the last rites - or -
What I would give to find the place -where -
The holiest Lady was laid to rest - and -
Why will your days not darken O Believer - when -
The star of Al Zahraa has set on earth - and - 
Risen in the heavens.

My orphaned soul wanders, searching
Distracted, seeking the place of her remembrance

Salaamullah 3layk ya Zahra al Batoul . 


-Shahida-

Lover of Lovers

O lover of lovers
I have drunk from thy cup of wine and soaked my soul in intoxication.
Who cannot but crave thy beauty, whose face humbles the hungry eye?
O lover of lovers
Thou has pushed me off the ends of the earth and has left me falling
Clothing me under thy cloak of velvet, removing the cloak of pride.
O lover of lovers
Thy heart must be elated
For I sway in ultimate bliss, whilst in my hands embracing the cup of sweet, sweet wine.
Thy heart must be one that cannot forgive the drunkard
Because with every sweet sip, I float in ecstasy and remain in oblivion 
O lover of lovers
Your touch is one I cannot fathom
What else can grip the wrists with such ease that no struggle can let free?
That soft embrace and tempting stroke bewilders every fiber and tousles every strand of hair
Entwining my vulnerability and encompassing my awareness.
O lover of lovers
How can I bask in thy light and not be sun-kissed by thy tender complexion?
Nay, your love cannot be as blinding as they say
For they have not seen your radiance, which only true lovers can witness.


O lover of lovers
Woe unto me, for the day I accepted thy sweet bribe.

~Fatima~

Emperor's Eyes

The floodwaters slowly recede leaving devastated homes and cities

The latest blockade is keeping food and supplies at bay

Protesters, like flies, are swatted by the arm of military might

Teenagers are snatched from school to fight the diamond war

Another home is holding a funeral for its latest insurgency victim

The flowers in Herat are stained with the blood of another dead child

Famine and vultures wrestle over the body of a young girl

Needles and crack, around the corner, have added a faceless statistic

But how can we see the unworthy while we have the emperor’s eyes? 


~Shahida~

Insanity's Plea

Fatimah calls
Where are you to avenge my death?
Mohsin was pierced by the lowest of the low
You are all that is left

Ali calls
What land has forsaken your steps
And embraces your forehead as you prostrate?
Remember the sword that caused my death?

Hassan calls
I am left and have no other
The solitude hurts me
More than the poison that ate at my liver

Hussein calls
The tears of blood you cry, I need more
For Abbas supplicates with no hands
His tears harsher to my heart than the blunt sword

Yet

While you have befriended time, I have befriended insanity
What valley feels your steps while I bleed profusely?
My mind has escaped me in search of you
And I sway, intoxicated

Death calls
My heart has been stolen by the one I can't find
Allow me to bleed once more
And keep me until the end of time.

Angel

Her eyes creased as rain poured heavily behind the window.

She felt like every time the drop ran down the glass, expressing a tear of her own in unison.

Her eyes traced each drop in sadness, her heart in suffocation.

Enduring so much, yet never whispering a word.

There she sat on her chair and hugged her cup of coffee; not a blink from her eye.

Recalling every heartfelt moment, like she always did in her solitude.

Her blood yearned for her homeland, her hands resembling her hard work and her wrinkles formed from every glimpse of her grandchildren and the death of so many.

Yet despite all that, her daughter walks in and her heart breaks free for just a second.

Tears of joy silently fall as her daughter goes on about her day.

Her lips are like mine. What I would do if I lost you...

Every day over and over, her heart rejoices as she cherishes her daughter’s hands, and forgets the pain she went through to bear her.

And yet

There was never a thankyou

There was never a time when the girl turned around for that one last sentence that would complete her mother’s heart.

There was never a time when she realised that under her mother’s touch, she could find shelter.

And there was never a time when she stopped to look deeper in her mother’s eyes, and read the pain that only a daughter could do.

Another day passed and her daughter walked through the door and sat next to her mother as she hugged her cup.

Not a word, not a whisper, only a gaze..

Despite the pure reflection, the hazel eyes could not hide the pain and the hurt.

The angel that had beared so much was being neglected by her very fruit

“Heaven lies under the feet of the mother”

Heaven’s angel was right there all that time.

Equal to her she could not find, love to another she could not give

Shelter somewhere else, she could not uncover

A sweeter smell, she could not fathom.

And there was silence.

She unfolded through her bliss like the sun kissed rose and embraced her like never before; her gentle touch an abode for her heart.

Her red eyes met her mothers, which laughed and forgave the fruit that was in the beginning of realisation.

"We have enjoined on man and woman to be good to their parents; show gratitude to Me and to thy parents; to Me is thy final goal”

And so she sat...her arms around her mother, like the very day she was born.

This woman is but an angel that has fallen from heaven to come to earth

She closed her eyes in her embrace, listening to the soft beat of her mothers heart that was in peace at last.

~Fatima~

Not really a poem, but a little message to everyone. Love your mothers & care for them every day like it is your last, for they are the foundations of our reason in being here and have made us what we are today. May Allah swt bless all our mothers, accept all their a'maal and have mercy upon those who have lost their dear mothers. 

Prostration

By this act, angels earned their salvation

And through refusal of it, Satan secured eternal damnation

Dust meets dust and the ego is brought to the ground

King and child, master and soldier

All for a moment, held in the same position

Seeking redemption, minimizing the sense of separation

From You we are and

To You is our return

Thirty four times a day, reminding ourselves

Yet when we arise, we reach for the glittering array

Year in, year out, the ritual becomes habit

From dust we are

Occupied by the dunya we crave and reach out

To the dust we return everyday

Until realization dawns, and reality sets in

Dust realizes its place and remains

Longing, yearning, hoping

Abandoning all, to seek One

Till finally blessed, forehead on dust

The prostrate servant comes face to face with his Master

And is drowned in the ocean of love

No matter where the eye looks

Now, dust will remember only dust.


~Shahida~

Discombobulated

Can't think, can't speak
Contemplating, too weak
Do I question, do I care?
Black face, dead stare
Sleep work eat pray
Routine method every day
Piles of study, this that
Procrastinate and leave at that
Time to pray, brush wash
Half dead walking, rush
Raise your hands, bow down
Think of sins, foul, frown
Why'd you do it? Think think
Nevermind pray quick
Empty mind, wanna sleep
Bad thoughts, lurking, weep
Silent night, heart beats
Thump thump, tears leak
Pain subdues, heart slows
Bare sleep, off you go
Eyes red, full of hate
Chest hurts, head aches
Time to pray, wash now
Walking corpse, timeless frown
Wanna speak now, how?
Start to fear, don't hate
Heart bleeds, tears solace
None but Him, rest are fake
Wrinkled hands, raised, young
Pessimism, no fun
Crying hurts, tears sting
Keep crying, soul sings
In a trance, sight, You
Now you're present, what to do
Open heart, public soul
Let me speak, You patrol 
Lost love, fights, cries
bad marks, she dies
Swearing, losing, all corruption
Dormant, flummoxed, self destruction
Lost, gone, shell in sea
Huge forest, lonesome tree
Branching into lifes quarters
Transpired hells waters
Silence lurks, night has come
Don't forget, O loving one:
Broken, shattered, full of shame

Encompass me, remove the pain.

~Fatima~